


You Found Me

by lizzy_stardust_18



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, also let Evan and Zoe say fuck they've earned it, bc im not creative, connor is terrible but he's trying, first chapter is a short one but the next chapter will be a chunky boy, im not tagging this slow burn bc idk how long it will be but the romance isn't immediate, mentions of suicide (canon typical), the parents and jared and alana show up later, there's platonic treebros and murphy sibling bonding, title is from the song by the Fray of the same name, zoe finds evan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 12:35:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14915493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzy_stardust_18/pseuds/lizzy_stardust_18
Summary: Evan thought no one would find him if he disappeared. But someone did.





	You Found Me

There was an odd sort of peace that overcame Evan as he hauled himself up onto another branch, almost like he wasn’t inside of his body. His foot slipped a little, and his heart raced, but instead of terrifying him, it made him feel almost giddy. He was close to the top now. He pulled himself up again until he was holding onto the very top branch of the tree. He could see up through the canopy of leaves. Nothing but endless stretches of blue sky extended before him. He felt like he could breathe for the first time in years. The sun was so warm, so bright, so inviting, like one of Zoe Murphy’s smiles that she sent your way if you accidentally made eye contact with her. He felt a pang in his chest at the thought of Zoe. He wished he could have at least talked to her at some point. He wondered what that would have been like. He figured it would have felt a lot like this, warm and freeing but also exhilarating.

 

He peeked down at the ground. It looked so far away. Everything felt so far away, like he wasn’t even a part of the world anymore. He wondered if the ground would pull him down and swallow him whole if he let go of this branch, or if he’d leave his body behind and rise up here, where no one would ever find him and he wouldn’t bother anyone again.

 

He looked up at the sky once more. He wanted to savor the beauty of the world, to never see anything but this again. He drank in the sight of the beautiful, neverending expanse of blue sky above him. The sun poking through the canopy leaves looked close enough to touch. He reached upwards with one hand in a childish attempt to actually touch the warmth above him, and his foot slipped. His stomach turned over and he quickly gripped the branch with both hands. He couldn’t regain a foothold, and after struggling for a few seconds, he just hung there limply from the branch. He let his arms sag down, keeping his eyes trained on the sky above him. He realized he didn’t have to regain a foothold at all. He could just let go. He dimly thought of his mother. She’d miss him a little, but it would be okay. Without him, maybe she could finally get started on her life. _I’m sorry, Mom, but I’m setting you free. You’ll see that one day._

 

He closed his eyes, wanting to remember the warmth he felt, and shuffled to the edge of the branch. His heart beat rapidly in his chest and his palms began to sweat, but he felt eerily calm. Everything had come to a whole. Now all he had to do was just...let go. He released his hold from the branch and pushed off of it, the bark scraping at his palms as he did so. His stomach turned over and for a fraction of a second he was weightless.

 

And then he fell.

 

He hit the ground. Pain spread through his entire being and he drew in a raw, shuddering breath. He didn’t dare open his eyes. The wind had been knocked out of him, and although he struggled to breathe, he was very much alive. The reality of what he’d done crashed over him and he sobbed. Everything hurt. Evan’s entire body ached from the impact of hitting the ground, but it was nothing compared to the pain in his arm, which was growing more agonizing by the second. He thought he might pass out from the pain alone. He gingerly cradled his arm with the other and felt sick to his stomach when he realized the angle at which his arm had limply fallen against him. He didn’t need to get it examined to know it was broken. He curled up into himself, tears streaming down his face.

 

Why was he so helpless? Why couldn’t he even do this one thing correctly? The fall had been from so high, why wasn’t it enough? Why was he alone out here? Why wasn’t anyone coming to get him? He hadn’t strayed too far from where people usually wandered through the park, surely someone would come exploring and find him, right?

 

Right?

 

Seconds dragged into minutes, and no one had found Evan. No one was even looking for him. He dimly wondered if his bosses would even notice that he was gone. He didn’t think it was likely that they would, let alone that anyone would miss having him around. He was just the weird _fucking_ loner who knew too much about trees, right? _Oh, Evan’s sweet but he likes to keep to himself, best not to bother him! Yeah, don’t bother talking to the nervous boy, it’s not like he’s desperate for human connection or anything!_ He could almost hear Jared Kleiman’s voice now, mocking him relentlessly. _You broke your arm and no one came looking for you? Jesus Christ, you really_ don’t _have any friends._

 

Evan let his head slump to the ground. He was all alone out in the forest. Maybe it would be best if he just lay there until exposure got to him. No one would miss him, and it wasn't as though he was going to get up and move anytime soon. The dirt beneath his cheek was rough against his skin, and he began to itch uncomfortably as he lay there, but still, he couldn’t get up. He drew his knees towards his chest and wept bitterly. He’d never felt so broken in his life. He closed his eyes and sobbed. “Help me,” he rasped. “Someone, anyone, please. Help me.”

 

He almost succumbed completely to despair when he heard a pair of voices in the distance and the cracking of branches under their feet.

 

“I just need like, five more pictures and then we can go back, okay?” The voice, which belonged to a girl who sounded like she was Evan’s age, seemed to be drawing closer.

 

“This is fucking pointless. I’m baking in this heat.” The second voice seemed to belong to a boy, albeit a boy with a very high voice.

 

“You’re the one who decided to wear black!”

 

“Fuck you!”

 

The girl made a noise of frustration, and Evan could make out her shape coming towards his general direction. His heart sped up. Maybe she and the boy would find him. He tried to move, but the pain in his arm overwhelmed him and he cried out, squeezing his eyes shut. “Fuck,” he murmured under his breath.

 

He heard a branch snap beside him and a warm hand was laid on his good shoulder. “Hey,” the girl said. He opened his eyes and gasped quietly. There was no mistaking the chestnut hair, the kind eyes, and the warm, ever-present glow that surrounded her like a full-body halo.

 

_Zoe._


End file.
